One Day at a Time

   As I sit here typing this my family is enjoying Domino's… I ordered it, I picked the toppings.  I think that this is me living through them.  Now I sit and think about the beef stew I will be heating up and I smell the amazing aroma of 2 2 topping medium pizzas.

  I was putting my pajamas on before the pizza got here and saw a heart box of chocolates from Valentine's on the dresser.  I wanted to cry.  I wanted to cry because this is hard!  But I want to be thinner and healthier but I want that pizza and I want that chocolate.  I don't want to be this person anymore!  Like I said, I wanted to cry and believe me I tried…  However, my hair is too tight and it hurts to make my ugly cry face!  So then I just laughed (didn't hurt as much).

I have to keep remembering that this is what I want and that this will be worth it.  I haven't lost as much weight as I want because I keep cheating.  I had Mexican food last weekend.  I had chips, salsa & vodka on Friday and then I had a burger and fries from Ruby Tuesday's on Sun!! WTH is wrong with me?!  I know what I have to do to get what I want but I just can't control myself!

All I can do at this point is to do better and learn front the mistakes that I make.  Today I did amazing and after I finish this big bowl of beef stew I will be at 1100 calories for the day!  Not to shabby and I only almost "tried" to cry once!